Want to be Heard – Start with a Yes!
I’m going to be bold and make an assumption.
You’ve experienced a time when you felt you were not heard, haven’t you? I’m rather confident that in one capacity or another, we all have.
Do you remember a time in which you wanted to state an opinion, an observation, a solution or be included?
However, you were never given the chance or it was blown off? What followed was either anger, resentment, or rejection. Maybe all of it. Which most likely resulted in withdrawal, because not having a voice can be draining.
For women in construction, a male-dominated industry, we’re fighting against stereotypes. And, we have to work harder to get respect. We are innovative, inquisitive, and experienced. We can problem solve, motivate, and get the job done. Women are valuable members of the team, and we want to be heard.
And so, frustration and stress can set in.
Wouldn’t it be great to be a part of a team that works together, which improves productivity and profitability?
All this can happen with two simple words, Yes, And.
Yes, And is a concept behind improvisation. I learned it while studying at Second City. It’s changed my life personally and professionally.
Think about communication in a different way. Rather than you talk, then I talk. Think more like, you share, I agree to hearing you and then I respond.
The first step, start saying YES. I do not mean to imply you’ll be taking on loads of work and giving up your own life for the sake of everything else. Just accept what is being said, or the situations.
· Yes, the water line is in the wrong place.
· Yes, those are incorrect windows that arrived on the jobsite.
· Yes, I understand you want to review the budget in twenty minutes.
If you have the magic to make things happen in an instant, you’re a magician. However, most of us do not, and we need to accept the situation before we can take the next steps.
That’s what the YES concept does. Allows you to accept.
When I first applied this concept, I began to silently say YES in my mind when someone was talking to me. I found it all too easy to grab one of the first words they said and mentally formulate my response immediately.
Next time in conversation, as you are listening, become an active listener by silently agreeing. In your mind think yes every few statements. This will allow you to slow down your train of thought. Avoid assembling a response before the person is done talking so that you don’t miss additional details important to the conversation.
This one item, will help you become a better listener. Allowing those you connect with the value of being heard. Which is all we really want, isn’t it?
You may be thinking, how does this make ME feel heard. Leading by example makes a statement. It will show how you’re valuing other’s and in turn, start a shift in communication.
Try it for a week and let me know how it works.